Testimony

You know, it’s ironic. Life has a way of reminding us how little we control. When I first created “God’s Got You” I thought I had it all figured out.

-At least when it came to my love life.

I originally posted a testimony stemmed from a heartbreak that happened years ago, and thought “wow, I’m so glad I will never have to go through that again! I finally found my person.”

Let’s all pause to awkwardly laugh together. Never say never.

This season of my life is not one I would have chosen, but it is one where I am learning to trust God in deeper ways than ever before.

I thought “I can’t write my new testimony because I’m in the middle of the storm.” But that’s simply not true. A testimony isn’t about reaching “the end” of something, it’s walking through the trenches with God’s presence every step of the way.

I entered marriage believing it would last a lifetime. When that belief was shaken, I found myself in unfamiliar waters, asking God questions I never thought I would need to ask. What I am learning is that faith does not disappear when life takes an unexpected turn, it is refined there.

In this season, God is teaching me that obedience does not always mean understanding or control. Sometimes it means trusting Him when plans change without your consent, losing multiple people you love, and learning to follow Him forward even when the outcome was not your choice.

I am learning to lean on God daily — not because I have all the answers, but because I don’t. He is showing me that His presence is constant, His guidance is gentle, and His faithfulness does not depend on my circumstances.

There are days when fear is loud and strength feels thin. On those days, God meets me with patience. He reminds me that I am not walking alone, that He sees what others may not, and that He is still at work… Even when I can’t yet see the full picture.

What makes this season especially heavy is knowing that the changes don’t affect just me. Carrying the responsibility of walking through heartbreak while protecting the heart of a child has deepened my dependence on God in ways I never expected.

There have been days where I beg God to just tell me why this is happening because I didn’t get the closure I wish I had.. There have been days where I have felt so much shame, fear, anxiety, humiliation, and deep brokenness. God is helping me walk through every second of it. ALL of it.

Not only does God walk with you every second, but He also sends you people to help you through those tough seasons too. I don’t know how I would have been as “okay” (take that with a grain of salt) without a couple of my close girlfriends. Not only that, he puts NEW people in your path. I have met multiple groups of AMAZING women that I am so blessed to call my friends. Without walking through this, I would have never met them. Many of these women are walking through similar seasons of life, and it’s been such a reminder that God never intended for us to carry hard things alone. We get to lean on Him and on each other.

This season is teaching me that trusting God is not about control or certainty. It is about surrender, endurance, and choosing faith one step at a time.

God has shown me a newfound strength, He has given me self-worth- something I have struggled with FOR YEARS, and ultimately what led me to ignoring the red flags in dating.

(I will post a blog soon about red flags in dating – specifically directed towards Christian women. That closure I mentioned – that was actually God correcting ME and what I allowed in my life. Oof.)

Through all of this, I have learned that if I had to go through this marriage and heartbreak a million times over just to end up with my son, my new friends, my relationship with my family, this closeness with God, loving myself for the first time in my life, and being able to use my testimony to help others.. I would do it.